I agree with a lot of what Ms. Bernstein has to say in her article. And yes, I do realize I was guilty of many of these same faults a few months ago. Making more time to actually talk or write to friends is one of the reasons why I’m not on Facebook nearly as much as I used to be.
Published over a week ago, this article is still one of WSJ.com’s most popular articles. So I guess other people feel the same way too.
How Facebook Can Ruin Your Friendships (article did not require online subscription to read at time of posting)
Article by Elizabeth Bernstein, Wall Street Journal, August 25 2009.
Some good quotes:
Last year, when a friend of mine was hit by a car and went into a coma, his friends and family were able to easily and instantly share news of his medical progress—and send well wishes and support—thanks to a Web page his mom created for him.
But there’s a danger here, too. If we’re not careful, our online interactions can hurt our real-life relationships.
Like many people, I’m experiencing Facebook Fatigue. I’m tired of loved ones—you know who you are—who claim they are too busy to pick up the phone, or even write a decent email, yet spend hours on social-media sites, uploading photos of their children or parties, forwarding inane quizzes, posting quirky, sometimes nonsensical one-liners or tweeting their latest whereabouts. (“Anyone know a good restaurant in Berlin?”)
. . .
This brings us to our first dilemma: Amidst all this heightened chatter, we’re not saying much that’s interesting, folks. Rather, we’re breaking a cardinal rule of companionship: Thou Shalt Not Bore Thy Friends.
“It’s called narcissism,” says Matt Brown, a 36-year-old business-development manager for a chain of hair salons and spas in Seattle. He’s particularly annoyed by a friend who works at an auto dealership who tweets every time he sells a car, a married couple who bicker on Facebook’s public walls and another couple so “mooshy-gooshy” they sit in the same room of their house posting love messages to each other for all to see. “Why is your life so frickin’ important and entertaining that we need to know?” Mr. Brown says.
I’m including this anecdote because I thought it was pretty humorous:
Alex Gilbert, 27, who works for a nonprofit in Houston that teaches creative writing to kids, is still puzzling over an old friend—”a particularly masculine-type dude”—who plays in a heavy-metal band and heads a motorcycle club yet posts videos on Facebook of “uber cute” kittens. “It’s not fodder for your real-life conversation,” Mr. Gilbert says. “We’re not going to get together and talk about how cute kittens are.”